- Stop Talking
You can't listen if you're talking.
- Put Speakers At Ease
Help them feel they're free to talk. This is often called a permissive environment.
- Show That You Want To Listen
Look and act interested (even if they can't see you). Don't read mail while the other person talks. Listen to understand rather than to oppose.
- Remove Distractions
Don't doodle, tap or shuffle papers. What can you do to make it quieter?
- Empathize With the Speaker
Try to put yourself in the speaker's place so you can see his/her point of view. Say things like "I imagine I'd have questions about this, too." or "I know if this happened to me, I'd probably be upset."
- Be Patient
Don't start to end the conversation before the speaker is ready. Allow plenty of time. Don't interrupt.
- Hold Your Temper
Anger creates the wrong meaning from words.
- Go Easy on Argument and Criticism
Arguing and criticizing put the other person on the defensive. They may stop talking or get angry.
- Ask Questions
This encourages and shows you're listening. It helps develop other points.
- Stop Talking
This is first and last – because all other points depend on it. You just can't do a good listening job while you're talking.
